Contents:

Religious golf

 

The Chief Rabbi challenges the Pope to a game of golf. The Pope gets a bit anxious about the game, and calls a meeting of his Cardinals.

 

“Lads”, he says (because that’s how he addresses his Cardinals in private), “what do you think I should do about this golf challenge ?”

 

One of the Cardinals replies, “No offence, your eminence, but let’s face it, you’re rubbish at golf. This really won’t look good for us.” The Pope agrees, and then he has a brainwave. “I know,” he says, “one of you lot can be my representative ! Can any of you guys play golf ?”

 

There is a certain amount of embarrassed coughing and shuffling of feet. Then someone has an idea. “I know, there’s a good Catholic boy in America, name of Jack Nicklaus. I hear he’s pretty good at golf ... Why don’t you make him a Cardinal ? Then he can be your representative.”

 

“Great idea”, says the Pope, “get him on the phone.”

 

So, Jack becomes a Cardinal, and goes off to play the match. He comes back in the evening to report progress.

 

The Pope asks how it went, and Jack says “Well, your holiness, there’s good news and bad news.” “OK”, says the Pope, “let’s have the good news first.”

 

Jack says, “Well, I don’t like to boast, but I play a pretty good game of golf at the best of times. But today was something special ! Everything went perfectly ... It was as if I had been inspired from above. Never played such a great game.”

 

“Wow”, says the Pope, “what could possibly be the bad news ?”

 

Jack replies, “I’m afraid to report that I lost by 3 strokes, to Rabbi Woods.”